Jalousie
by Nan Ma
Summary: Cao Pi hungers for everything of his father's- his army, his horses, his domain, his power. But Cao Cao has something he can never possess. Where does Xiahou Dun come in anyways? Cao Cao/Xiahou Dun, one-sided Cao Pi/Xiahou Dun.


Same thing! Written by mostly Lin and a bit of Kathy, edited and like ripped apart by Adeline rofl, she doesn't like anything we write or something! lol, she wrote like the beginning and part of the end and I finished it up and filled parts. Teamwork he he he!

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When he was two, he wailed until his father's ink stone, his father's slippers, his father's jade signs, or any of his father's objects were placed within his reach.

When he was ten, while his father was away, he commanded some servants to take away his small pony and bring him his father's warhorse instead.

His lord father never saw the pattern. Lord Cao always approved, thinking that his son simply desired power and greatness, just as he did at the same age. The lord did not know that Cao Pi desired power and greatness all right- as long as it was his father's.

Let us observe this phenomenon. Draw it closer to us, if we may, as if the turmoil of human existence was as sterile as the pulsing of bacteria under a microscope. If you would use such a term, let us _study _it. What is it made out of? We are not sure. It seems that there is anger. Greed. The persistent shame when he stands next to his father and compares him to him. Perhaps it is even a twisted sort of lust, the kind that only a twisted sort of psychiatrist could come up with. Maybe it is inadequacy, or, dare we say it, inferiority. All the scheming in the world cannot take the place of action. He does not strive to surpass- simply being as good is enough.

To say it simply, he desires everything of his father's.

Is this a natural thing? Ask sons all around the world. They would give a much better answer than us, we who only sit and observe.

Horses, swords, troops, allies, even power can be obtained. One thing of his father's drives him most mad. He can buy horses, he can accumulate wealth, he can draw in allies, he can ascend to power, but Cao Pi cannot have this one single man. He has tried his cool charm, the seduction of power, the draw of money, even the lure of luxury. Nothing works.

Set in the flimsy, half-shadow half-illusion backdrop of a treacherous and deceptive court, Xiahou Dun is more solid stone than human. He is not clever. He does not know how to smile while his fists clench. He cannot pour flattery from his lips like anyone else. He cannot act in any other way than he does. And he can no more hide anything than the rest of the court can be honest. Honest. That is the word. Xiahou Dun is simple and honest.

And that is why so many men and so many women, the young prince included, find him so seductive. A man trapped in a pit of tigers sees the beauty in a gentle, kind woman. In a world of ever-shifting fog and smoke, a pure stone or a shine of light is a beautiful thing. In a palace where anything and anyone can be bought for an oily word and a bag of coins, a man who remains out of the reach of darkness and slime is desirable, a man who wades through filth but comes out clean and bearing flowers.

But in the world of the court, being simple and honest is asking to be thrown in the fishpond. No one dares try take Xiahou Dun, because in front of the sincere, unsmiling face stands the king of shadows himself.

Cao Pi thinks that Cao Cao protects Xiahou Dun because he does not like to share. True, the only thing Lord Cao shares is the latest gossip from the capital, and even that has a price. But truly, can Cao Pi comprehend something like pure simple affection? Can he imagine that perhaps his father protects Xiahou Dun because he cannot bear to see a beloved one thrown to the wolves?

He tries everything to seduce and reel in the gruff man to his inventory. Xiahou Dun does not notice the subtlest of cues but squints and growls at the more obvious ones.

He has even tried force before, to impose himself by tying the older man down to his bed and having his way with him. Xiahou Dun only grits his teeth and, except for one small cough of pain, stays absolutely silent and still. The harder Cao Pi pushes, the more Xiahou Dun withdraws, avoiding meeting his eyes or responding in any way. When the morning comes and he is untied, he simply pulls on his robes, bows, and asks permission to leave. Cao Pi always grants it through his fury and watches Xiahou Dun walk away.

He wonders why Xiahou Dun never tells Lord Cao about it. He knows that his own theories, so warped and twisted by his own cleverness, cannot follow a mind so simple. He cannot see the desire to simply not cause any more problems with an already puzzling inheritance.

Of course Cao Cao will find out eventually, probably soon. Xiahou Dun does not know how to hide secrets. One night, he will sit looking down guiltily, not saying anything, and Cao Cao will squeeze the answer out of him.

Cao Pi knows this, but he must have his father's man.

One day, as long as the succession goes as planned, Cao Pi knows that Xiahou Dun will bow to him. But he wants more than Xiahou Dun's service.

Cao Pi wants everything that belongs to his father. Xiahou Dun has given himself to one man and no other. All the intrigue of the courtly world falls in the fore of his thoughts, for how can something so fickle and feeble as shadows draw in a stone?


End file.
